May 2, 2004
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I hope that everyone can accept the fact that I have really changed in the past month...not style wise or any of that shit, but maturity and attitude. Having been working and actually putting forth some effort in school over the past month has really taught me responsibility...call me cheesy all u want but it's so true. Playing Lax or rather not playing lax has actually proven to be one of the best decisions ever made in my life, not to mention what a kick ass sport it is. Im actually trying twice as much now that I've fucked up so bad. The Lax girls are the chillest peeps I've ever meet too. We've had some sweet times. I hope my friends don't hold this against me though. Im sorry guys if you think im ditching you, or trying to act different to please other people, but I swear It was unintentional. Im not meaning to act different it's just happening, im a hypocrite too I know, im always saying dont change but it happens. Actually i mostly get pissed when styles are altered, because thats juts being gay and needing attention. But im actually like I dunno fucking growing up i suppose?!? Now I dont know what im talking about, and I take no responsibility for what Im saying right now cause Im kinda blazed so I always just mumble on. Well lets just say that you my friends are in for a suprise when school starts tomorrow...because I dont know if how I am now will stick when I see you all or maybe ill just go back to how it was?!? I just dont know...actually as I said to Abby on the phone today "I hate knowing everything, we'll that sounded conceeded, I hate knowing how people work!! If I die, can you just kill me!?!?!" If I think any deeper into things, or get any more insight on the meaning of life I think im ganna suffer a major anxitiy attack!!! Im out though...i hope you like the new font backround and music that took me and morgan forever to do today, well actually I just gave morgan my password the pic and what song I wanted and she did it all for me!!! haha cause im a sped...but anyway night
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