I hate that feeling you get when you listen to that certain verse, and all you can do is think about him, all that catchy perfectly structured song does is hurt you, you can almost feel your heart breaking...
It’s the same feeling you get when he smiles at you, the way his eyes light up and the lines form as he squints, how he tries not to let his teeth show through his big kissable lips.
When he touches you, you can feel yourself shake, you wonder if he can feel it too. His massive hand resting on your knee, you feel so safe and secure with him. Nothing’s like his touch, nothing compares.
You live for that song, that perfect smile, his skin on yours. You could live without him not knowing, and your lack of courage. You’d give anything for him to live for you.

I know right now
Nothing is all fine
And I know by now
You can’t be in my life
It’s for the best
It would have been so fucking messed
I’m just content that this happened
Memory can be such a blessing

If my hearts so damn big
Why do I feel, feel as if I’ve
Shattered into a million pieces
And If I can give, give as if
I’ve nothing to lose,
Why are you so, so gone?

I see myself in a different light
One I wish to shine upon
One that doesn’t need you to be mine
I can go on being the guy
Throwing feeling aside
I know ill be all right
I’m always all right

Silence will break eventually
Letting life back in, letting me breath
Never regretting what transpired
Not even wishing one more hour
I just hope amity will pull through
Pull me back to you

And if tomorrow comes
Nothing changing
Ill throw it all away
Ill throw you all away

Nothing was supposed to change
Ill throw you all away…
Ill throw me all away

The reason for all these random entries is because my dad is cleaning my pc and I dont want to lose these files...so yea hehe...enjoy

I have a dream that one-day people will have a magnetic pull towards concerts. That ticket prices will be lowered, as well as CD pricing, and that stars will get paid what they’ve earned. I want all people to be able to love, and listen to their favorite bands, without having to pay massive amounts of money.

There is nothing like a live show, nothing at all. The way the smoky atmosphere fills the arena, like fog rising off the ground. The way the crowd jumps to their feet at the slightest indication the act is about to come on, to them the most magnificent being on earth is about to enter. The way the voices of the people around you blend to one with the music, like doves crying out to each other. The way the band starts to mellow out, lighters fly into the air, an unpredictable quite forms and “boom!” the rhythm falls back in with a lively tune, that makes your heart beat in time to the drums. The way the true fans mouth every word, eyes fixated on the performer. Nothing in the world matters at the moment. The way the people are after, with comments like “ahh man, that show was sick!” you see their eyes light up and dance around like they did when they were young, like eager little children. There’s truly nothing like it in the world.

I went to my first Dave Matthews concert Tuesday night, my Christmas present from my sister. It was the most amazing environment, everyone up, dancing, singing along, and having an awesome time. We didn’t have the best seats in the house, but it didn’t matter, the visual wasn’t the point. The feeling that nothing can touch you comes to mind when you’re sitting there in your seat watching your favorite band. Dave’s voice, mixed with Reynolds and Trey switching verses on guitar was one of the best moments of my life. Watching Devlyn and Loo, my sisters’ avid Dave loving friends, spaz out as Trey strummed his electric at a fast steady beat was the most amusing part of the night. I can’t even begin to explain the amazing feeling of living, of having fun, of screaming out the lyrics to “you get me high” my favorite song. And as “stay or leave” dropped in, after an elongated intro, the place went absolutely nuts. This concert was a crazy riot, a fight to keep the good things in life burning alive inside.

There is one downside at this day in age to seeing a live show, the money. We didn’t sit backstage or front row at Dave, we had balcony, and those seats cost about $60 each. It’s absolutely asinine. You would think that with millions of adoring fans you would like to give them a cheaper price to come praise your work.

Take Britney Spears for example, she can’t sing, she can’t act, and her social skills and character are at a bare minimum. Somehow though Britney is managing to make $75 a pop off little twelve-year-old girls. For what, so they can come to see her dance? There is no talent behind Britney, just a smiling face, and a personal trainer. Why cant people see real talent?

$50-$150 for the admission, don’t add in parking money, which if in Boston, you’re paying a huge number for. And don’t count the food you may want at a show, that’s only $7 for a plate of nachos. Then there’s the apparel that you just have to have, which is ridiculously expensive. $35 for a t-shirt, $20 for an un-framed poster, you want a beanie, that will be $25. A night of pure music has now turned into something more than that; it’s turned into a financial nightmare.

How can people not boycott the sale of these items? Why don’t people stop going to shows? As I said before, it’s because they’re amazing. I find it rather ironic seeing the people who made the rock stars famous in the first place get charged large amounts of dollars to go see their show.

When I fall in love with a band, their music speaks out to me, and I want right away to know every song, every verse, every small sound the guitar makes as the person holding it plucks away. But these things take time; you need to go buy their CD. But at age fourteen, do you honestly think we have the money to go out and get every LP, and EP there is, unfortunately the answer in most cases is no. So why are record companies still charging $15-$20 for a CD, and expecting teens not to download?

Prices need to be lowered, and it needs to be now. Teens are sharp objects in the toolbox of life, but no multiple millionaires, and even if we were I think we would still have to rebel against high pricing. I don’t think it’s fair that we made them and their making us pay in the end. It’s just such a mystery to me; how stars just don’t seem to see that without fans they would be nothing. Where’s their conscious?

Have any of you every seen the show Cribs? Well, if you haven’t it’s pretty much showing off how much money the stars have “earned”. You see their massive house, which in most cases take up a square block, you see their hot cars, and beautiful clothes, what I don’t see is their talents, and the praise they give to their fans.

I was looking in a People Magazine the other day, and I came upon a picture of Beyonce Knowles in South Africa. She was sitting with children, making it seem as if they were having a great time. I then realized that she had on what looked like a $2,000 suit. I thought to myself how pathetic, she’s wearing that trying to look good for the camera, and there is a poor, hungry, cuddly bearish boy on her lap.

This is a fast world, and if you don’t live it the best you can then what’s the point? Have a good time, see what you want to see in this carousel we call life, and don’t worry about anything, it all works out in the end. I have a feeling that one-day humans will rise above everything, the money, the fashion, and the parties. That one-day we will be able to go to benefit concerts, were you get paid if you’re a good act. That one-day we will be willing to work for what we want, and we wont have to deal with outrageous pricing, and payments. That one-day I will be able to rest in peace, knowing I lived it well.

No one understands
The ringing of the phone,
Why it's not received
On the other side.
Pain is inevitable
When it comes down
To all the things we did
Everything unsaid
That matters the most
Left to disappear into dust.
I’m sitting in bewilderment
Wondering why you don’t see
Ignorance can be
Such a stab in the back.
I could attack you
And you wouldn’t react.
That’s how far we've come from sight
How far we’ve gone for loving
For feeling alive.
Is it worth it?
Are we worth this?!?!

500 random questions...

001.What is your full name? Marissa Lynn Stone
002. Spell your name backwards: enotS nnyL assiraM
003. Date of birth: 1/12/89
004. Male or female? Female
005. Astrological sign: Capricorn
006. Nickname: Stoner
007. Occupation: G*rod
008. Height: 5’2”.
009. Weight: fuck no
010. Hair color: reddish brownish blondish?!?
011. Eye color: Blue Green?
012. Where were you born? Manchvegas
013. Where do you reside now? Who moves?!?
014. Age: 15
015. Screen names: Stoner1210
016. E-mail address: Stoner1210@hotmail.com
017. What does your screen name stand for? Plainly stated
018. What is your JOURNAL name? Stoner1210 c’mon
019. What does your diary name stand for? Refer to Q. 017
020. Pets: RIP koho New puppy “elsea” im renaming it though, cause that’s just terrible!!!
021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake? O fuck u think I remember
022. Piercing? Non to date…but in the process
023. Tattoos? Waiting for the big 1-8
024. Shoe size? You know my big feet…size 7
025. Righty or lefty? Ambidextrous…not…righty
026. Wearing: Sweats!!!
027. Hearing: ashlyn speak and missy complain
028. Feeling: deprived of sleep
029. Eating/drinking: u really wanna know

//Friends Stuff
Which one of your friends is the....

030. Craziest? “Were all pretty fucked up”-AC
031. Loudest? St. Jean
032. Nicest? Brooks
033. Bitchiest? You really don’t want an answer…
034. Life of the party? Can you take my second half into consideration?
035. Jock? Fremeau…I suppose?
036. Prep? Sorro
037. Rebel? Ehh well….depends on the situation
038. Cutest? Christopher Goupil
039. Best friend of the same sex? No ones the Best
040. Best friend of the opposite sex? Pooper
041. Most popular? That’s a sad question
042. Rudest? Tay-dog
043. Most shy? Will
044. Dumbest? Tie…colleen and ashlyn
045. Smartest? whitty
046. Weirdest? Clayton
047. Has the best hair? Fucking ashlyn
048. Best personality? Cronin?
049. Most talented? We all have our ups and downs
050. Most ghetto? Channing Fucking Reinert
051. Most spoiled? Duffy
052. Drama queen? See 051
053. Pain in the ass? I believe im my own best friend
054. Funniest? Lexi Jenis
055. Best advice giver? Burke’s always there for my “I have a friend” moments
056. Druggie? Damn…well I think I’ve lost my title to St.Jean
057. Most likely to join a cult? Liz
058. Have you lost touch with a good friend recently? Sadly
059. Person you've been friends with the longest? Poopa scoopa
060. How many friends do you have on your buddy list? Maxin out like a pad

//Girls/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff
061. Have you ever been in love? Honestly don’t know
062. How many people have you told "I love you"? ehh too many
063. How many people have you been in love with? “???”
064. How many people have you kissed? Does this count ass’s?!? umm well just lips 11…including 2 random + 1 I don’t remember the name of.
065. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Nooo…im very homophobic…but a bad drunk…ehhh
066. How many people have you dated? Fuck it like 7?
067. What do you look for in a guy/girl? Humor
068. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? EYES!!!!!
069. What type of guy/girl do you usually go for? Nice ones…sadly
070. Do you have a bf/gf? Single…and lovin it
071. If so where did you meet them? n/a
072. What do you like most about your bf/gf? n/a
073. Do you have a crush right now? O I always do…
074. If so who is it? Hottie I work with!!!
075. Do you believe in love at first sight? no
076. Do you remember your first love? If u count love @ 5 sure
077. Who is the first person you kissed? My bestest buddy
078. Do you believe in fate? Yeah totally
079. Do you believe in soul mates? No, fuck no
080. If so do you believe you'll ever find yours? He’s probably dead

//Family Stuff
104. How many siblings do you have? 2 sisters 2 bros
105. What are your parents names? Lynn and Stephen
106. What are your siblings names? Brenna Tara Matt and Ty
107. How many siblings does your mother have? 3
108. How many siblings does your father have? 3
109. Where are your parents from? Fucking Manch
110. Is your family close? As close as we see fit
111. Does your family get together for holidays? O yes it’s a jolly time of year
112. Do you have a drunk uncle? YESSSS!!!!
113. Any medical problems run through your family? Who doesn’t…
114. Does someone in your family wear a toupee? WTF?
115. Do you have any nieces or nephews? I hope not!?!? Brenna?!?
116. Are your parents divorced? yes
117. Do you have stepparents? Yes
118. Has your family ever disowned another member of your family? I dunno…im working on it
119. If so for what? Who cares
120. Did some of your family come from another country? Didn’t we all?

//Music Stuff
121. What song do you swear was written about you or your life? Everclear-Wonderful + Something Corporate-Not what it seems…
122. What's the most embarrassing cd you own? Spice Girls….I still listen to it
123. What's the best cd you own? O fuck don’t get me started
124. What song do you absolutely hate? ANY SONG BY AVRIL!!!
125. Do you sing in the shower? Hell yea
126. What song reminds you of that special someone? 504 boys- I can tell…hahahah

//Favorites
152. Color: They call me Mellow Yellow
153. Food: mmm dessert
154. Song: Goo Goo Dolls- Iris…maybe?
155. Show: One Tree Hill!!!!!!!!
156. School subject: W/C
157. Band/singer: Brandon Boyd
158. Animal: Monkey
159. Outfit: Jim Morrison shirt
160. Radio station: 92.1
161. Movie: The Breakfast Club
162. Pair of shoes: BURKENSTOCKS!!!!!!!!!
163. Cartoon: umm Bevis…Butthead
164. Actor: Johnny Depp
165. Actress: Julia Stiles
166. Potato chip: blahh nasty
167. Drink: Shirly Temple
168. Alcoholic drink: VOLDKA!!!!
169. Holiday: Halloween
170. Perfume/cologne: Ralph Lauren
171. Pizza topping: cheese please
172. Jell-O flavor: awww Jello yesss
173. Lunch meat: Hammmm
174. Board game: o fuck trivial pursuit…ultimate
175. Video game: GTA + Street ball
176. Website: www.Enjoyincubus.com
177. Book: The Catcher In The Rye
178. Computer game: Solitaire…I am queen
179. Number: 12!!!
180. Cereal: Cocoa Puffs, Captain Crunch
181. Comedian: George Carlin is GOD
182. Dessert: cheesecake….
183. Disney character: Blue Butt…monkey “rafiki”
184. Clothing store: The one that clothes me..Urban Outfitters
185. Pastime: Concerts…smoking
186. Teacher: Ms. Wadleigh!!!!! “you get to meet my bitch teacher….(to ashlyn as she walks up to me) Ms. WADLIEGH!!!”
187. Childhood toy: Polly Pockets…fuck yeaaa
188. Carnival game/ride: Rolla Costa’s
189. Candy bar: Ruth…baby…Ruth…NOT!! Twix
190. Magazine: TeenVogue…and porno’s!!! jk
191. Salad dressing: Ranch, or white wine
192. Things to do on weekend: I enjoy sleeping eating and drinking
193. Hot drink: Hot Chocolate, baileys included
194. Season: WINTER…SNOW
195. Sport to watch: Xgames
196. Person to talk to online: Sarcastic people…and YOU

//Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits
197. What color are your sheets? Pink and white
198. What color are your bedroom walls? Blue+white…clouds kinda?
199. Do you have posters on your wall? O man hell yea
200. If so of what? Political, inspirational, artistic, friendships, musical, theoretical…u name it I got it!!! Sick DAVE one…Johnny Depp Incubus, soup can.
201. Do you have a tv in your bedroom? Tear tear RIP
202. How many pillows are on your bed? 7
203. What do you normally sleep in? u really wanna know?!?!
204. Describe your favorite pair of pajamas: their 100% cotton, gray sweats and white tank…
205. What size bed do you have? Queeny
206. Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed? Sadly no
207. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom? Are you kidding…do u know my parents
208. Do you listen to music while trying to fall asleep? Do I ever Not listen to music
209. Describe the last nightmare you had: I Died…enough said
210. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Koho
211. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed? Well ive fit a pretty damn good amount before
212. Do you sleep in any unusual positions? Well it depends on my dream…only kidding
213. Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling? no
214. Do you snore? I sure hope not
215. How about drool? Im sick now too…enough said
216. Do you have an alarm clock in your room? Ehh sadly
217. What color is the carpet in your room? Getting darker every min.
218. What's under your bed? Bb gun, and some home-made bowls, a few computer boxes as well
219. Coke/Pepsi: COKE
220. Doughnuts/bagels: Bagels…”donuts are bad for you!”
221. Day/night: fun comes during night
222. Wicked witch of the east/wicked witch of the west: who the fuck cares, honestly
223. Heaven/hell: don’t believe in either
224. Make love/have sex: SEX…more pleasing
225. Coffee/tea: TEA
226. Hamburgers/hotdogs: I go for the Big Mac
227. Rap/rock: Alternative
228. Britney/Christina: at least Christina can sing
229. Swiss cheese/american cheese: americano
230. Real World/Road Rules: hate both
231. Backstreet Boys/*Nsync: forever Nsync
232. Silver/gold: Silver
233. Nike/Adidas: adidas…gatta love em
234. McDonalds/Taco Bell: Wendys!!!!
235. Sweet/sour: sweet and sour…u should see me go through those…I have 5 packets at wendys
236. Punk/emo: EMO…punk is pop with guitars
237. Hot/cold: I hate the heat…freezing ur ass off is fun, that’s why u never see me with a coat
238. Winter/summer: Winter
239. Spring/fall: Winter
240. Operas/plays: depends on the acts
241. Read/watch tv: read…only if im not being made too
242. Cd's/tapes: Tapes don’t skip…enough said
243. Dvd's/vhs: read the one above…u get the idea
244. Old/new: Old is comfy and enlightening
245. Shorts/skirts: Shorts
246. Pink/red: I hate Pink
247. Colored pictures/black and white photos: B&W
248. Meat/vegetables: I cried for corn
249: Men food/chinese food: we…I fucked that up
250. Commercials/infomercials: neither
251. Scary movies/comedies: I like to laugh…
252. Bikinis/one piece bathing suits: T-shirt and Shorts!!!
253. Sandals/tennis shoes: Fucking Sandals
254. Dogs/cats: dogs
255. Unicorns/fairies: both are fruity
256. Water/land: The clouds…if you must know
257. Sugar/spice: spice up your life…
258. Black/white: Black, it’s easier to look at
259. Ribbons/bows: ribbons nor bows are any fun
260. Chicken/beef: BEEF!!! BEEEEFY!!! muahah
261. Colored christmas lights/regular white christmas lights: white icicles
262. Cars/trucks: trucks…gets the cars off the f*in road
263. Austin Powers/James Bond: Bond, James Bond.
264. Popcorn/pretzels: popcorn…mm grease
265. Hip/hop: isn't that the same?
266. Passionate kiss/peck: that’s a no brainer…
267. WWE wrestling/ real wrestling: both suck
268. Back rub/foot massage: back rub. niiiice
269. Picture frames/photo albums: albums…there’s more
270. Pens/pencils: I hate erasing..

//What Is Your Opinion Of The Following
271. Eminem: best rapper
272. Addicted: Cocaine?
273. God: belief to keep people in line, fake.
274. The Osbournes: beep…beep…beep
275. Reality TV: blows cock.
276. J.Lo: marriage.
277. Religion: retarded waste of time
278. Emo music: beautiful
279. Valentine's Day: needs to die
280. Christina Aguilera's comeback: she cameback? why?
281. Homosexuals: ehh…gays are alright…lezbos creep me out
282. Abortion: pro-life under certain circumstances
283. Inter-racial relationships: no problems…
284. Murder: ehh they deserve it anyway…
285. Death: destiny
286. Obesity: self-control issues
287. Pre-marital sex: whats wrong with that?
288. Terrorism: sick…fucking sick.
289. Pornography: art?
290. Fortune tellers: waste of a life
291. Threesomes: why not?!?!
292. Prostitution: are you commenting on my profession?
293. Michael Jackson: no comment
294. Country music: who listens to that shit?!?
295. George W. Bush: DIE!!!!
296. Cloning: coooool
297. Britney's boobs: go from a to d, c to a, b to d, bdcabadbcad
298. Gas prices in America: We should just take over the middle east and get are own gas…or make an electric car, because the US shouldn’t have to play both sides Israel vs. the rest of the ME just for gas when we should be supporting another democratic country.

//Name Game //What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Common Names...?
299. Jack: pirate with one leg
300. Tiffany: Breakfast at tiffany’s
301. Ben: My cousin?
302. Maria: Nantucket, smoking on the beach
303. Jennifer: Brad Pitts wife
304. Nicole: Anna Nicole Show…lol
305. Amy: I don’t know?
306. Adam: ex-boyfriends
307. Richard: DICK!!! hahah
308. Justin: Timberlake…fag wigger
309. Arnold: California
310. Tom: Rice…quiet prodigy in science class
311. Melissa: Melissa Elizabeth Truncellito Clayton!!!
312. Charlotte: Sex and the City
313. Harold: Terrible name for a fat guy
314. John: powers…
315. Joel: martin…
316. Vanessa: a bitch?!?
317. Michelle: Full house
318. Kevin: Morgan’s friend…
319. Brent: hottie from a band?
320. Jake: Donnie Darko
321. Billy: canobie lake dream
322. Sarah: Burkie
323. Natalie: Poison…don’t ask…lighters
324. Christy: whore?
325. Nick: st.jean
326. Linda: hair dresser
327. Taylor: hanson
328. Jordan: slut
329. Jamie: retard?
330. Adrian: weird kid that asked me out in Study

//Have You Ever....
331. Mooned anyone? Hehe maybe
332. Been on a diet? If water counts as a diet
333. Been to a foreign country? si
334. Broken a bone? Nope…knock on wood
335. Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling? That’s sick…no
336. Swear at a teacher? Hahaha yea
337. Talked to a DJ member via e-mails or instant messages? Umm not that I recall
338. Got in a fight? 2…kim simmons in 4th garde LOL and a bad one I don’t wanna talk about
339. Dated a teacher? Yes u know me…wtf?
340. Kissed a member of the opposite sex? Already asked…nope
341. Thought about killing your enemy? Hmm no shit?
342. Gone skinny-dipping? hahaha
343. Met another DJ member in the flesh? Whats with the DJ?
344. Told a little white lie? everyday
345. Told a secret you swore not to tell? Who hasn’t?
346. Made artwork? Hehehe yeaaa
347. Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid? yes, but it was rad.
348. Been on tv? Haha blahh…zoom
349. Been on the radio? Actually yea…I drank 5 bottles of free MD @ Snowboard jones and the radio station there was like heyy do u wanna go on MD girl…so yea I think it was Rock 101
350. Been in a mosh pit? Haha yea
351. Been to a concert? 11…im obsessed
352. Dated one of your best friends? Hmm..don’t know about dated
353. Loved someone so much it makes you cry? missed
354. Deceived somebody close to you? yea
355. Broken the law? Many times
356. Been to a rodeo? nope
357. Been on a talk show? nope
358. Been on a game show? nope
359. Been on an airplane? Si
360. Got to ride on a fire truck? Hehe during a parade
361. Came close to dying? In my dreams
362. Cheated on a bf/gf? regretfully
363. Gave someone a piggyback ride? Nooo…obviously!!!
365. Made a mud pie? Not that I remember
366. Had a dream that your falling off a cliff? i feel like i am when i drift off to sleep.
367. Snuck out of the house at night? Haha interesting story behind that night!!!! LG + LN…o man
368. Been so drunk you don't remember your name? Hahah yep
369. Had an eating disorder? O man…if only obese were the excuse…for my keg…LOL
370. Felt like you didn't belong? Who hasn’t at one point
371. Felt like the 3rd wheel? O yeah
372. Smoked? Of course not
373. Done drugs? Damn you caught me!!! haha
374. Stolen money from a poor person begging on the street? no, assholes.
375. Had your tonsils removed? no
376. Gone to camp? Good times
377. Won a bet? Always!!!
378. Written a love letter? Never sent…im such a hopeless romantic
379. Gone out of your way to be with the one you love? Haha HELL NO
380. Written a love poem? O man have I written 1 of those!
381. Kissed in the rain? I wish…
382. Slow danced with someone you love? no
383. Sp34k L33t? o right…
384. ...blankness... everyday
385. Stolen a kiss? eh, i wouldnt say stolen
386. Asked a friend for relationship advice? All the time
387. Had a friend steal your bf/gf? I don’t know about friend?!?
388. Watched the sunset/rise with someone you love? Sunset…it was beautiful…sadly
389. Gotten a speeding ticket? Not yet…muaha
390. Done jail time? See 389.
391. Had to wear a uniform to work? Haha yea jeans and a T-shirt!!!
392. Won a trophy? sure
393. Thrown up in public? I don’t think so?
394. Bowled a perfect game? Hahahah fuck no…I suck
395. Failed/got held back? Failin 3 classes right now
396. Got perfect attendance in grade school? I hate school…of course not
397. Roasted pumpkin seeds? With the goupils
398. Taken ballet lessons? Haha only like 7 years
399. Attempted suicide? I dunno have I?
400. Cut yourself? Purposely or just bad timing?!?

//Childhood Stuff
401. Did you play with Barbies? I ripped their heads off…seriously…then I played with them when I got older
402. Did you own Treasure Trolls? Brenna did
403. Did you watch Beverly Hills 90210? Never understood, but watched
404 .Did you play Simon? yessery
405. Did you watch Fraggle Rock? hm, i think they were high off that methane..
406. Did you wet the bed? aw.. so?! i was a kid
407. Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed? All the time
408. Did you wear the underwear with the days of the week on them? LOL yepp
409. Were you shy? Hell No
410. Were you spoiled? Still am
411. Were you abused? Mentally…LOL
412. Did you go to the circus? nope
413. Did you go to the zoo? Yea…the goat bit me.
414. Were you in a car accident? Ehh semi w/burkie LOL
415. Did you build snowmen? O man did we!!!
416. Did you cry when you scraped your knee? No I was a tough kid
417. Were your older cousins mean to you? What older cousins…
418. Did you think slinkies were cool? until they messed up
419. Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer? obviously
420. Were you afraid of the dark? i loved that show
421. Did you have slumber parties? Yep haha
422. Did you have New Kids On The Block sheets, curtains, sleeping bags, dolls and pajamas? Missed that phase
423. Did you tease your hair out like Tiffany? What?!?
424. Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy? Until like 7?

//Randomness
425. Do you believe in aliens? yeah, but im not a fanatic about it
426. Name 3 things that are next to your computer: Cd’s, walls, light?
427. Do you have any hidden talents? Well if there hidden?
428. Do you wish MTV would play music videos? YES!!! Especially good ones
429. If you were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be? Porno’s!!!
430. What would your porn star name be? Jawanna stoner
431. Do you play any sports? FH, bball…
432. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen? Silver Bullet…when I was 6
433. What is the best movie you've seen in the theater or rented recently? Bowling for columbine
434. What is the dumbest movie you've ever seen? Pokemon
435. Do you drive? not yet
436. What is your dream car? One of the old 60’s vans…haha actually BMW silver z3 roadster
437. Do you think you're good looking? I hate q. like these
438. Do others think you are good looking? How would I know?
439. Would you ever sky dive? I wish
440. Do you believe in Bigfoot? nooo
441. How many rooms do you have in your house? 10?
442. Are you afraid of roller coasters? no
443. Do you believe in God? no
444. Do you believe in Satan? no
445. Do you believe there is a heaven? no
446. Do you believe there is a hell? no.
447. Do you own a pool table? Hehe I am the master at it too
448. Do you have a pool? Nope…tear
449. Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen? Who doesn’t?
450. Do you like chocolate? sorta
451. Who/what is on your 2003 calendar? Incubus
452. How many U.S.? 1?!?
453. Ever wished on a shooting star? yeah
454. Best Halloween costume you ever wore? Cat when I was 3
455. Do you carry any weapons on you? How’d u know
456. What is your weakness? Needles, and being tickled
457. Name something you can't get enough of: sadly enough, him
458. Describe yourself in 3 adjectives words: crazy, imaginative, socially insufficient
459. How many kids do you want to have? NONE
460. Future daughters names:
461. Future sons names:
462. What is your ideal way to die? Snowboarding!
463. How do you release stress? Writing
464. Are you a trendy person? I suppose?!?
465. Are you an artistic person? Very…
466. Are you a realistic person? Ehh I dunno
467. Do you un-tie your shoes every time you take them off? Only a few…cant with my sandals
468. Are you a strong person? I suppose
469. Are you a strong willed person? ehh
470. Who is the last person to e-mail you? Tara
471. Who is the last person to IM you? Morgan
472. Do you hate chain e-mails? Very much
473. Are you a deep sleeper? O yea
474. Are you a good story teller? I don’t know?
475. What do you believe is your best quality? Not caring
476. What is your greatest accomplishment? Varsity FH
477. Do you like to burn candles or incense? And pot
478. Do you do yoga? Ehh…maybe
479. Do you have your own credit card? That would be dangerous
480. Let's say you win the lotto: Sick Computer, T.V., and every CD I wanted
481. Do you have a check book? nada
482. Do you like your driver's license picture? dont have one yet
484. What color is your hair naturally? Redish Brownish Blondish…don’t ask…it just happened
485. How many fillings do you have? 1…I was pissed
486. How many cavities did you have at your last dentist visit? none
487. Worst feeling in the world? depression
488. Best feeling in the world? Hmmm…I dunno
489. Is the glass half empty or half full? Nothings left in the cup-TU
490. Last thing you downloaded? I don’t remember
491. Do you catch yourself using online terms in your real life? Hehe I love doing that… BRB ASAP!!!
492. What do you think people think of you? I don’t think about that shit
493. Are you a likeable person? If your not annoying or an idiot, I suppose
494. Do you need therapy? I have therapy…lol
495. Do you take medication for a chemical imbalance? I should…I swear Im bipolar
496. What the best way to be proposed to? On the beach at sunset…barefoot…wrapped in a blanket…the ring in a shell
497. What kind of movie would you star in? comedy?
498. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? That would be chill
499. What are you thinking? I need to sleep
500. What's your favorite phrase? Fuck em’

Haha hope you enjoyed...peace

Fucking awesome weekend...Friday night chilled at duffys w/kawee haha good times, and then woke mad early to go to see Tara in Boston...partied there, went to the omni to see everest...went on the T muahahha sweeet...got her to smoke a couple bowls with me...LMFAO went to the Parade the next morning met a couple of her friends...they were chill, they let me drink...watched a small bit of the parade and went home...to work, which was actually pretty chill today, i got to wrok counter, which I suck at, but still...muahaha but now im ganna go do the 1321412 assignments i didnt do last week...so ~peace~

Hows your life?
Whats it's like there?
Is it all that you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think of me?
And how broken my heart is.

Its ok to be angry and never let go...

you know that I'll catch you when your falling down...

Maybe one day Ill see you again
And you'll look me in the eyes
and call me your friend...

It's Ok...

This is soooo sick...im like signed onto this at school!!!! hahaha everyone else is doing work on the pc's and im like playing around...IM SO FUCKED UP ITS HILARIOUS!!! HAHAHA w/e well im out my teacher is coming over ~peace~

FuCK FuCK...smoked everyday this week, didnt do any h/w...really didnt care about anything!?!?! I didnt pass in 2 ENGLISH assignments, one an essay on Catcher In The Rye...which if you know me should be one of my favorite things...Ive lost ALL interest in school...failing i think 3 classes now...this isnt good!! haha ill figure it out though, no big, I just think at some points you have to lose it for awhile and not care, cause then when you do its 10x more and you feel you need to push yourself and acheive something!!! I think, since I already fucked over this quarter, im ganna the next one...like actually give it everything, study and all that...I just wanna see if I put at least 10% more effort into school if I can get straight A's or close to it...it's sad but ive never tried that!! You would think with my up bringing, and how good my friends are with grades that I would have motive but I dont. My motive next quarter though is to show up all my teachers LOL...i just want to see my english teachers face when I ace one of the gay quizzes she gives us...I WANT TO FUCKING NAIL SENORS CLASS...LIKE 100% across...i seriously HATE HIM!!! OMG like im ganna kill him, he always assumes I dont know what im doing, and that im bad at spanish..alright im not actually great at it, but I just wanna fuck shove it in his face sooooooooo bad!!! so then when he gives me the fucking 75% in participation I can be like umm yea since I have straight A's...UGHGHHGHGHGH!!jfsadghkajg'lsa haha and colleen and whitty gave me motive to write a book over the summer...so you best all be nice or you could be a bitchy character...muahaha...its to late if ur ganna be one of those actually.

They say time will make all this go away, away. But it's time that has taken all my tomorrows and turned them into yesterdays.