December 30, 2004

• Well it’s kinda early in the morning, but I figured I'd start my day off straight away!! yeahhh ok...No I just got through playin vids, haha. Also, friggin Trainor gave me SODA, im sooooooo hyper and wired!!! tehehehe. And then Whitey let me drive back from Auburn, so I'm concluding that excited tendencies+Soda+Speed=extremely off the wall Marissa. Does anyone else love referring to themselves in the third person? I know Stone does. Only kidding that one was strange. I guess I’ll write, I don’t really feel like it, but why not?

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  All this pacing and overreacting

  
  

  It’s come to the point of clearly thinking

  
  

  The coddling and grip of lost control

  
  

  And you’ve still to make sense of it

  
  

  This shove to the heart has grown harder

  
  

  And you’ve still to feel anything

  
  

  I’m sorry for my freedom and seclusion

  
  

  When feelings stand on this plane

  
  

  I’m scared to crack and fall delusional

  
  

  What's to be scared of here?

  
  

  But losing what I haven’t already lost

  
  

  The opposite of lust, a stab to my heart

  
  

  Can you fault my false tongue?

  
  

  The battle of my two greatest assets

  
  

  Quit while we’re ahead

  
  

  That’s what happened tonight

  
  

  Isn’t that why you left?

  
  

  Or was it me being cold and cruel

  
  

  Finally a snap?

  
  

  Never understood

  
  

  No one can come inside my mind

  
  

  I’d die to the world for satisfaction

  
  

  I’d die to you for new ways to see

  
  

  You’re just another way to find myself

  
  

  That kills me, I kill me

  
  

  Suicide is far past an option now though

  
  

  I doubt I could be that cliché

  
  

  But I suppose a lobotomy would do

  
  

  Get thoughts to stop churning

  
  

  So I can fall for someone if briefly

  
  

  I could be happy without technology
  What made me this fucked up

  
  

  To not feel, to not believe, to not love?

  • 3:58 am
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