I watched you scope the room

Felt our gaze graze for an instant

As you passed over to hide your feelings

Or do you loathe me that much?

This heated atmosphere is filled with such tension

I can only deduce what’s leaking from your head

Am I the solitary heart in this sequence of diversion?

Or do I merely service your bed?

All these fickle judgment and demands

Concluding my days with regrets

Losing all my poise just to earth my secrets

And yet you’re far from what I covet

Each moment passing drives me further astray

And I can sense your frustration

But I won’t divulge what I can’t say

writing again i guess. sucks, but getting back in the swing of things. So today was interesting, got up drove to school, then left cause i hate it sooo much. Picked up Healz and shopped, finding some interesting presents (sauna exercise jumpsuit anyone?), and having a grand ol’ time, cause that girl is seriously the greatest. Then brought Healz to suprise LFL(Little Fucker Lizzie), cause i know how sweet it would be for me. lol. After which we did a little more shopping, but this time rocked out in shop n spend, buying some dough products. Peaced back to my crib where we were joined by my sister JK (aka Jen Kolenski) a G*rod fav; we made a surplus of cookies, in many different varietys, only took 3 hours +. JK and I made some sweet candy cane type ones from the box, as healey whipped out her domestic cooking skills with some homemade dough and the essence of christmas cutters. “traveled” to the Rod for what can only be put as a socially awkward chaotic scene, but all the same, had a good time hittin up all the tables. Which now leads me back here, were i have done absolutly nothing for the past 2 hours (what else is new) and am def. not sleeping tonight, seeing as how a popped my magic. So yeah, hw is in the near future, followed by a shit day. ahha. whatever, ive been slacking so bad, and yes i regret it baddd but what can ya do. I’m going to continue with my presciption tomorrow, hopefully not to late to pick this quarter back up. damn me, and my authority problem! ok i guess i have to go do this school crap.

ps I LOVE the CD <3 good choice, i’m impressed with the present skills.

OK so the rest of the weekend, and last days of summer, were bombcake. I even went without boozing…pause for gasp…not that it mattered, cause as we’ve all come to realize, if im around drunk folk, im just as fucked. muahaha. anywayyys, im not ready for this damn repetitive schedule, school-fh-work…wooo jumping with excitement! Weekends will be our savior now, and lots of naps. Blahh i dont know what im rambling on about, im like a beacon of energy right now, should i even attempt sleep. ohhh yes…

I have my first day of school outfit planned out, and for those of you who wont see me tomorrow, here it is: Field Hockey sweat pants, Burkes w/socks, and the good ol’ Tie-dye t-shirt!!! tehehe.

Goodbye summer 05′ hello junior year.

Stone and drama are done for good, i mean your all welcome to tell me all your gossip and dirt, but i will be no longer repeating anything i know. anyyyywayyy…this weekend, being the last weekend before school, has been bombcake! Field Hockey games have started, and surprise surprise here, we’re 0-2, yessss! work has been fucked, without the tripod, the k’s, and other college folk. doesnt mean i havent been getting into my usual amount of trouble or anything, dont you worry. still in serious denial that anyone has left, ahhh. i think i have sun-mind failure at the moment, when the sun makes you so tired that you just cant function normally or sufficiently, it’s awful. but it was worth it, good day with some d-bags, aka lexi liz abby and the add on gibgib…def ganna be a repeated night on sun. so call me if ya want in. im buying a wet suit this time, so im not such a bitch getting in the water. lmao, i dont know what thats all about, i use to be able to just jump in…fuck. ok good story…so we’re sitting on the wall last night, and lexi said cool aid really weird and laughed, so i mimicked her, and the we all laughed and kept making each other laugh for at least 10-15 min. it was a real good chuckle, and in the wise words of lexi “I wish we had a camera” ahh…spice girls for halloween!! fo shizzle, rrrrrrroaarrrr (in scary spice british accent) haha …anyway, im going to see my father for the evening, so slater…come get some G*rod tomorrow morning!!!

what if the enemy
isn’t in a distant land
what if the enemy lies behind
the voice of command
the sound of war
is a child’s cry
behind tinted windows,
they just drive by
all i know is that those
who are going to be killed
aren’t those who preside
on capitol hill
i told him,
don’t fill the front lines
of their war
those assholes aren’t worth dying for
but he said
roll with it, baby

I dont even know where to begin? Well first i need to say how beautiful this song is, i hope you all find some meaning in it. And now im feeling all deep and emotional, such a wreck, but in a positive sense. Actually im not in the mood to write, thought i was, but cant get any of the right words out. Absorbing music time. I love you all, and to those of you leaving im going to miss you so much, you dont even know. Burkie i miss you like crazy already. Everyone take it easy <3

So the summer seems to be winding down, field hockey starts in 5 days!!! It’s been lovely though, one of the best summer’s yet. I can’t believe junior year is already upon us…like honestly…we were just playing kickball at recess…Mrs. Gunn making sure the girls team won. haha. So many memories, both great and horribly great…we’ve always been a mischievous group. I know that this year wont be any different…we’ll all come together and dominate, like the crazy kids we are. So get pumped, cause this is ganna be the best yet!

This entry is for Morgan and Josh

<3

In Nantucket!!! having a blast with Duffy…call us up if you wish!!!

and I have no clue how Im online right now  cheers

I can’t believe school’s almost over, it’s sick! lol summer should be interesting. The first month is already stacked with plans, so im pretty pumped! ahh just gatta pass sophmore year, haha. OK so Finals tuesday, if you dont have a Mod B hit me up, because right now im stuck going to the beach with goup, shargo, and martineau…haha please help! then Canobe some time w/ a few weirdo’s, tell me if ur in on that too. Then def. just chillin out at my house a couple days…hopefully jumping riiight back into my old habits!!! muahah <3 we’ll see? time for sleeping though.

CHS lax girls rule all!!! We won the first playoff game…beat Londonderry 15-14, woot woot. But now we must face Pinkerton, so we all know how this is ganna end. Whatever, it was a great second season…6 and 9, I think that’s pretty damn good.  No matter what Kris Russell says!!! Either way I <3 you girls and hope youve had as good a time as Ive managed. Ganna miss Sheendawg, and Slasher next year, as we continue our upward journey into dominence of Class ‘L’ Varsity Lacrosse.

We’ll this has been an exciting weekend…pssh, not really, but it’s all good. Worked Fri, Sat, and Sun night in case you thought I fell off the earth…which is still a possibility?!? I did manage a crap load of sleep though, like 12 hours a night…it was blissful, woke up to the birds chirping, and the thunder scaring the shit out of me! hmm…

anyway, now Im doing this month late english essay…which im making sure of, because I already swallowed a little jolt, so it will get done! haha…and this, only a day, late art essay! geez, talk about being a fuck ass, honestly!!! And to pump me up even more I have Ben Jelen on repeat. lol?!?

Did you know that Edvard Munch was not only a painter, he was a lithographer, etcher, and a wood engraver! exciting, riiight! haaa…ok so I figure if I do a page every half an hour until 6 in the morning I will get these essays done!!! woooo, have faith. Well since I just realized what an idiot I am I think Ill go do these now

Im so interesting … ehhh … bye